Friday, July 17, 2009

New post... can you believe it?

So a little update on my life... I am living in Mississippi, as most of you know. I like it here for the most part but I am having trouble getting into the swing of things!!
Never in my life have I searched for a job. I have always just known someone that hooks me up, or my fabulous personality and my big boobs seal the deal with high paying jobs with good hours. There is not a market here for the makeup thing, well not to my standard I guess. I have sent my resume (medical, adminitrative and makeup artist) everywhere!! It kinda hurts my pride that I haven't got a bite!
I really regret not finishing college. I was so on the ball in high school, earning college credits and getting good grades.. Speaking of being on the ball in HS, what the crap happened to me? I was so good with grades, with working out and dieting. I had the best self control ever!! I had no problem making friends or going out! I dont know if I am getting old or because I am growing up my personality has changed for the worst!! When I think about myself 6-7 years ago, and think about myself now.. I am totally different!
I am ok with being different. I like myself now. I may not be as funny or as out going. But I am still a good person.
So to end this post... do I strive to be the old Mackenzie or just keep growing in the direction I am going?


mostly Stacy said...

I love you schmoo!!! i get how you feel, you get old, your goals aren't met, it kind of sucks. You aren't 17 You are more compassionate, and wiser. I think you know who you are more than you did at 17. I think you do things for you more, rather than for other people. You just lost some focus along the way and we Edde girls all have a hard time being self motivated. I think that it's great to focus on yourself and think about things you like and also think about how you can progress as a person...thant's why we are here after all. You need to be the kind of person you want to be. Your wonderful, it's been fun to talk about goals with you in the last little while.

Brookie and Travis said...

i dunno kenze, we have all changed and gotten older, i am DEFIANTLY not where i said i was gunna be. things don't come as easy, we have much more life altering decisions to make. Priorities change, strangers become family. its crazy! the most important thing is to keep your priorities in check. family, health, education, finances. in your marriage, my advise would be to think everyday, whats one more thing i can do to make him happy. for your health, be active, be smart, don't diet. cut out stress. education/profession be aggressive, learn something new just for the hell of it. and always always Keep it simple. these were just random thoughts that came to my head. call me any time. i like e-mails too. Love you sis!

Laurie said...

It's funny how we all have our "glory day's" and how it all changes when we get older.
take me for instance.. where did my smokin body go? and who is this old lady with varicose veins? :)
Seriously, though. It is hard for us all to realize that life goes on with or without us.
Kenze, you are still you. You are still crazy and funny and smart and beautiful. You are also wiser and more experienced. you are a wife and a provider. You have way more responsibilities. Stress naturally becomes a part of your life. It is so easy to become bogged down.

My advice follows Stacy and Brooke, Keep on doing what you are doing. A job or a different path will come along. don't worry about that.
Keep making small goals for yourself.
Find happiness in every situation.
Ex. okay, so you don't have a job.. but you have a ton of free time to do whatever you want.

Keep talking about it. Because we are all in the same boat. We need eachother.

Love you!

Jamie and Edgar said...

Wow, all of my sisters are philosophers! If we all stick together, we can save tons of money on psychiatrists and anti-depressants! You are all so smart, and it makes me happy to see that we are all struggling and striving to be good and happy people.

I think we are all in the same boat with different issues that weave together to create a bolt of fabric waiting to be stitched into eye-capturing couture dresses that comes from the pain and exhaustion from the induction of labor that gives birth to an explosion of self-depricating, unselfish, love...(ok, now I am going to turn off SYTYCD...L'il C is wearing on me!)

But for real. I love you Kenzie and I think you are awesome. I also think that my sisters are awesome too. I am just glad that we have each other, and we need to stick together.

Laurie said...

Jamie you make me laugh! That was an awesome analogy!

Anne Marie said...

I can't believe you actually posted. i am glad you like who you are now because I like you too. You have to find what you really what to be and then be that. Do let a job define you because a job is just something you do to make money to feed yourself. It is always a bonus to find one you love but it doesn't amke you you! Hope the rest of list is treating you well. We miss you!

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